what to do when a narcissist threatens you

When your narcissist threatens to commit suicide

Suicide is patently no trivial matter, and when you hear someone say they are thinking nigh it, you are correct to exist concerned. But what about a narcissist? We've talked most how narcs lie, how they love but themselves, how they use sympathy to keep their victims attached to them. Then what should yous practise if your narc says he's contemplating suicide? Of course you lot fear if he goes through with it and you didn't help, you'll never get over the guilt.

With this question I'k going to fall back on a basic principle I hold when it comes to abusers and their victims. Equally the victim of abuse by your narcissist, you should never feel they are your responsibleness. You are the one person who is almost certainly exempt from that. I will explain this further below.

Let'south elaborate past looking at the two scenarios in which this might occur.

SCENARIO 1 – You're still with your narcissist only thinking about breaking with him/her

In this case, either the narc is faking his suicidal state of listen or he really is thinking well-nigh doing himself in. Information technology is possible for narcissists to impale themselves (two of them in my own family did and so). But if y'all are notwithstanding with your narc, that ways he nonetheless believes he has a source of supply. In both the cases I know personally, the narcs in question were experiencing serious declines in their bewitchery and unhappy about the prospects of their ongoing power over others. Narcissists practice not like getting sometime, losing their charisma, or losing control over their circumstances. Unless the problem is that your narc is convinced he's going to have no one to abuse in the futurity, my theory is that he probably isn't sincere.

On the other hand, the threat of suicide is a dandy tool to get attention and sympathy, and especially if he suspects you lot are globe-trotting abroad from him, he could very well utilise information technology on you. After all, who is going to find the forcefulness to desert someone they love when that person is actually self-destructive? He knows you're not that heartless…that'southward what he's counting on.

This is what makes a fake suicide threat such a depression and nasty act.

SCENARIO 2 – You lot've split with your narcissist

In this case, the narc is almost probable trying to go you back and/or reassert command over yous. If he still wants to fight to retain yous as his source of supply, this is a pretty powerful trick to play.

Simply what if he actually is devastated at having lost his source and truly has lost the volition to live? I alluded higher up to that possibility, didn't I? This puts you in a very fell spot as of course if he goes through with it, you have to deal with the guilt. And so surely y'all ought to exercise something, right?

In both these scenarios, you are stuck between yielding to the narc and peradventure feeling similar his death is on your hands. I won't be brassy: this is a tough spot to be in. The cardinal to responding is this: you can care for the threat seriously without letting it affect your ain actions and choices.

I recommend you simply provide the narcissist with a suicide hotline number in your area or the national number, 800- 273-8255. If you are yet with him, tell him that this is something merely he tin can deal with, and all-time with the help of a professional, as you lot are not equipped to do it yourself. If yous are separated, to ease your conscience yous can email or text him the hotline number, and tell him just, "I can't help you with this. Please call."

Exercise not permit the suicide threat affect you. When a narc tells his victim he might kill himself, he is trying in some form or mode to influence you. Don't flatter yourself that he came to yous because he loves and needs you–those things are not in a narc'due south emotional vocabulary as we well know. And you are the last person who should exist expected to help him with his bug…he lost that correct when he chose over and over over again to abuse you. You take one duty in this, and that is to recover from his abuse and not let information technology happen again, at his easily or anyone else's.

Think near it this way: the narcissist is setting things upwardly so that if yous don't give in to him, he will impale himself. That's emotional bribery. You should non be expected to trade your chance at an abuse-free life only to keep your abuser alive. If he doesn't have the desire to go on without having someone to torture, then that responsibleness is his own, and certainly not his victim's.

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Source: http://lucyrising.com/2015/07/when-your-narcissist-threatens-to-commit-suicide.html

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